My son started preschool last week. I wanted to make him feel comfortable on his first day, so I drew a picture of a dinosaur and tucked it into his lunch box as a midday surprise. After he got home and told me all about his first day (and how much he likes all the girls - send reinforcements!), I asked what he’d like to have for lunch the next day. His answer? “A DINOSAUR!” 

So, I’ve been drawing him new pictures every day. My daughter, who has always preferred buying school lunch rather than bringing one, saw the drawings and asked to start bringing a lunch in as well, so now I draw them each a picture after tucking them into bed at night. Today’s drawings are of a dragon and a uni-pegasus on rollerskates. (I’m really glad that they’re still young and easily impressed by oh-so mediocre drawings)

Shut Up & Listen to the Kids

I was thinking (aching) about Boston and longing for the days when everyone talked about how Justin Bieber hoped Anne Frank would have found him hot. And I thought about Anne Frank, about how young she was and how I can’t even begin to comprehend what she went through. I thought about 8-year-old Boston victim Martin Richard and his poster pleading “No more hurting people.”

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While the poster Martin made last year for a school peace walk contains the perfect words in the wake of the marathon attack, so does Anne’s diary: “It’s really a wonder that I haven’t dropped all my ideals, because they seem so absurd and impossible to carry out. Yet I keep them, because in spite of everything, I still believe that people are really good at heart.”

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While it breaks my heart how wise children are forced to be, their continual optimism, hope and trust that good will prevail is something I think those of us who are supposed to be grownups could learn from.

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“I will always keep you safe” is the one promise every parent wishes they could make, but can’t guarantee to deliver.

Let’s face it, parents, bathrooms are BOOORING. What do you expect your toddler to do in the time it takes them to expel the day’s mac & cheese and dinosaur chicken nuggets from their bodies? Stare at the wall? Use their imaginations? Rubbish! It’s pretty much child abuse if you don’t keep your child entertained while they do their business. I mean, when’s the last time YOU went to the bathroom without the Internet in your hands? - From my review of the iPotty

Let’s face it, parents, bathrooms are BOOORING. What do you expect your toddler to do in the time it takes them to expel the day’s mac & cheese and dinosaur chicken nuggets from their bodies? Stare at the wall? Use their imaginations? Rubbish! It’s pretty much child abuse if you don’t keep your child entertained while they do their business. I mean, when’s the last time YOU went to the bathroom without the Internet in your hands?

- From my review of the iPotty

If I had Zack Morris’ ability to freeze time, I’d probably just use it to take lots of naps.

If I had Zack Morris’ ability to freeze time, I’d probably just use it to take lots of naps.

Dear Justin Bieber,

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Birthdays can be a drag. I get it. On my 9th birthday, I woke up to my best friend throwing up on my face. Talk about a ruined slumber party! It seriously took me two weeks to get the smell of puke out of my hair and my NKOTB pillowcase never smelled the same again.

I can relate to feeling frustrated when your big day delivers less swag than you think you deserve. The world can be a cruel place to a 19-year-old millionaire with the entire world at his fingertips.

I mean, from the photo you posted to your Instagram account one hour before informing more than 35 million fans on Twitter that you were having the “worst birthday,” things look simply awful:

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However, I’d like to introduce you to Adrian Thomas. Hell, you have swagger, you probably know him:

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Adrian, known as DJ Ajax, was an Australian DJ who shares your birthday. As you turned 19, Adrian turned 41. It was the last birthday he’ll celebrate, though, as he was fatally struck by a truck while celebrating his four decades on this planet. #worstbirthday

True, Adrian shouldn’t have been running across a road at 1 a.m., so let’s move on. I’d like to introduce you to Xander Pond, who shares your birthday as well:

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Xander turned 8 as you turned 19 yesterday. His mom, as moms often do on their child’s birthday, asked him what he wanted to do to celebrate. His reply? Xander’s birthday wish was to throw a party for the patients in North Carolina Children’s Hospital Pediatric Cancer Clinic. You see, Xander has been battling bone-soft tissue cancer. He’s been in remission since 2011, but the fear of having his body turn on him always lingers.

Instead of getting gifts on his birthday, Xander gave out gifts to the kids at the hospital (I’m guessing a few of them are probably your fans, Biebs?) and told a local TV station, “If they don’t get to have their birthday party, then they probably never will until they’re done with this cuz it took a while for me to get done with this but now I’m all better and I’m just happy.”

Happy.